Wednesday, June 23, 2004

NEXT, WE'LL BE SEEING THE "GARY COLEMAN DEFENSE:" Spurred by this opinion which discusses at some length the "Sergeant Schultz Defense," in which a party claims to be unaware of something despite all evidence to the contrary, I'd like to propose a few other defenses.

The "Mike LaFontaine Defense"--In products liability cases, a way of expressing utter shock about how a product responded to unusual situations, simply by asking "Wha' Happened?"

The "Clara Peller Defense"--When a plaintiff is unable to present a sufficient case, the defense responds with one simple question--"Where's The Beef?"

The "Chico and the Man Defense"--Where an individual is sued for failing to undertake a certain responsibility, his response is simply "It's not my job!"

The "Family Feud Defense"--In a trademark case, where a survey is the most critical evidence, the judge simply shouts "Survey Says!" and waits for the buzzer or bell to sound.

Other creative defenses? You know what to do.

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