AND FOR THAT MATTER, THAT DIMAGGIO GUY HASN'T DONE MUCH LATELY: It is the traditional end-of-year awards time here at ALOTT5MA, and each of the five of us will, as befits his fancy, be nominating and/or presenting in whatever categories he sees fit.
My first one is Most Disappeared Celebrity of 2004, given to the formerly famous person who has most completely vanished from the public's consciousness. Past winners include Matthew McConaughey, Joe Pesci, Dana Carvey and 2003's winner, Rupert Everett, who quickly moved from Leading Man to Host Of Primetime Lingerie Special.
For this year, as I've previously hinted, I can find no more worthy celebrity than Winona Ryder, who has gone from Gen X goddess to leading lady to convicted criminal to . . . who? oh yeah, her. With the shoplifting. She still in jail?
The last movie she was in that anyone saw was the failed Adam Sandler vehicle, Mr. Deeds, and before that you have to go back almost five years to when she had any significant work -- Autumn in New York (a/k/a Sweet November But With Two Other People) and Girl, Interrupted (a/k/a It's Like Prozac Nation, Except That It Made It To Theaters and, boy, did I come close to giving this award to Christina Ricci).
You don't think of her as an actress any more, and barely even think of her as a personality. Go ahead: do you still remember everyone she dated?
There was once a time that Johnny Depp and Winona Ryder were equals. Today, he's still a mega-star, and the tattoo that once read "Winona Forever" on his arm has been edited to read "Wino Forever". He's long moved on, and so has America.
Goodbye, Winona, and wherever you've gone, please give Natasha Lyonne our best.
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