Tuesday, March 1, 2005

DEAR PTC: WE RECEIVED YOUR IMAGINARY COMPLAINT. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO IMAGINE THAT WE HAVE FINED FOX A JILLION DOLLARS. SINCERELY, THE FCC: ALOTT5MA Chief Legal Correspondent Ted -- who won the job with truly impressive graft, I say to all other title-seekers out there -- points out that the FCC rejected an indecency complaint that the Parents Television Council brought against Fox's funny-because-it's-obscene redheaded stepchild Arrested Development. Upon viewing an episode in which a character burns himself and lets loose with a bleeped-out string of expletives, the PTC "decided to guess what that tirade was, produced its own transcript with its imaginary version of the speech, and then promptly complained to the FCC about the 'indecent' broadcast." The FCC board (comprised of two high-ranking Chinese Communist Party members and three Taliban alumni), showing more wisdom and discretion than it showed in the entire four years before Michael Powell announced his resignation, rejected the complaint.

No word on when the FCC will rule on the PTC's most recent complaint that when NBC's Dan Abrams is shown from the chest up, his bottom half is ___-____ing a r_____ m__k__ and _____ing the s_nt_r_m all over his ___s___l a__i_____. (Partially redacted by your good friends at ALOTT5MA Standards and Practices.)

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