THERE MAY COME A TIME WHEN A LASS NEEDS A LAWYER: To criticize the Bolly/Hollywood film Bride & Prejudice for being inconsequential or formulaic would be entirely accurate, yet miss the point completely.
I will readily concede that the movie's plot is little more than excuse to allow us to watch beautiful people do goofy things in exotic places around the world for two hours. If you've seen any romantic comedy, ever, you will not be surprised for a moment here. But so what? Sometimes you want a stately cocktail, and some days, you want a delicious milkshake.
And, my goodness, Aishwarya Rai has a milkshake that brings the world to her yard. There is nothing I can say about her that has not been said (or that would get me into trouble with my wife), so I will leave this truth universally acknowledged at hubba, hubba. The rest of the cast is solid, with particular kudos to Nitin Ganatra's willingness to make an ass of himself as a California-based player-in-training. (Also, is Martin Henderson playing the poor man's Breckin Meyer, or the poor man's poor man's Noah Wyle?)
One final moviewatching note: in a crowded theater, we were stuck with a very loud older couple behind us, that talked nonstop for the first fifteen minutes of the movie, and not even the tradition Older People Have To Explain Things To Each Other kind of nonsense. They were talking about shopping and their friends.
Glaring at them didn't do anything. Saying "Excuse me?" or "Could you keep it down?" didn't help. Which, after a few more minutes of their obnoxious distraction, left me saying this, loudly: Could you please give me your address? I'll send you the DVD when it comes out, and then you can talk all you want.
That shut them up. Swear to God.
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