Thursday, June 2, 2005

THE ORIGIN IS ARAMAIC, AND IT MEANS "PRINCE OF THE DEVILS AND RULER OF THE INFERNAL REGIONS": I swear I'm going to get around to reviewing every single one of the new fall shows. For now, though, I'll just pitch a show that I want to watch. Today's topical proposal:

Helling Bee: A crafty demon named Dr. Jacques Ba'ally has hatched a plan to open the gates of hell by having a virgin (known as "the Phoeneticist") spell a magical incantation at the finals of the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Four demographically diverse prepubescent outcasts from various important Nielsen regions, plus one from Jamaica (an unimportant Nielsen region, but one known for its broad comic appeal), have been mysteriously chosen to save the world by defeating the Phoeneticist at the Bee -- but first they must overcome obstacles (poverty, parental pressure, learning disabilities, crippling social maladjustment, local and regional tournaments) to spell like the wind! And there's a catch: while the five heroes and the Phoeneticist are each mystically aware of each other and of Dr. Ba'ally's evil plan, neither they nor we know which of them is Dr. Ba'ally's pawn. Also, each of the spellers has an impossibly hot parent or sibling (possible casting suggestion: Aishwarya Rai as a single mom?). Pitch for a Friday - Sunday 8 p.m. time slot.

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