Tuesday, July 26, 2005

FOR STARTERS, MY KID'S FATHER'S NAME ISN'T MICHAEL VAUGHN: One of the burning questions of our time has been answered. Jennifer Garner's pregnancy is being written into this season of Alias.

So let's see: when last we saw our heroes, they were driving along the California coast in Vaughn's way-too-expensive-for-a-CIA-guy car, cooingly cooing about how they should just elope rather than have to deal with Jack Bristow's effort to impersonate a happy father of the bride. Vaughn chose that moment to reveal to his bride-to-be that he wasn't actually the guy she thought she was marrying, and before said bride-to-be had a moment to react, a big SUV slams into the car in a rather serious fashion. Cut to big ALIAS across a black screen signifying that everyone has to wait many many months to find out what's going on.

My guess for the beginning of the pregnant-Jennifer Garner season premiere: Faux Vaughn lies comatose in a hospital bed. He awakens. Sydney is summoned. She walks into Faux Vaughn's hospital room, and both Faux Vaughn and the audience simultaneously come to the realization that Syd is pretty darned pregnant. "Vaughn," Syd says, with that super-intense-spy-girl-with-a-heart look we have come to know and love, "you've been in a coma for six months." And the BOMP (aka the Alias theme song) ensues.

It's a little obvious, but the parallel between this and the "Syd, you've been dead for two years" knock-out finale from Season 2 amuses me. Anyone got anything better?

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