Saturday, August 13, 2005

THE ONLY WAY TO SAVE THIS MOVIE WOULD BE TO TRIM 86 MINUTES: Inspired by the release of Rob Schneider's new opus (and, seriously, of all the former SNLers to have a successful movie career, why him?), Roger Ebert collects some of his favorite bile of the past, much of which will be familiar to any reader of this site for whom "Hated hated hated hated HATED this movie" is an oft-used catchphase. I still love this one regarding the ending of Night Shyamalan's The Village:
To call it an anticlimax would be an insult not only to climaxes but to prefixes. It's a crummy secret, about one step up the ladder of narrative originality from It Was All a Dream. It's so witless, in fact, that when we do discover the secret, we want to rewind the film so we don't know the secret anymore.

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