A List Of Things Thrown Five Minutes Ago

YOU WERE DANCING WITH BETTE MIDLER! What is it with the awesome bird routines? Last week, I decided I was over Wade Robeson and his dead people dances. But after last night's SYTYCD, I want to have a celebrity bird danceoff between Robeson and Tyce Diorio. So many great moments in Hok and Jaimie's dance, from the flower struggling to open under the weight of the morning dewdrops straight on through until the end. Loved it loved it loved it. I couldn't imagine what Pasha and Jessi had in store for us that warranted getting the pimp slot over that hummingbird dance -- until I saw what Pasha and Jessi had in store for us that warranted getting the pimp slot over that hummingbird dance. As for Pasha, let me just note how unbelievably lucky he is that Jessi pulled a Latin dance from the sorting hat. I can't imagine how he would have pulled off what he pulled off in the face of, say, a krumping routine.

And now, in honor of special guest judge Debbie Allen and her fake lashes and hair, I have some percussive thoughts on the rest of the show.

• Can we please, please send Cedric home already? If the best Mia Michaels can do for him is to let him sit in a corner crying for 20 seconds of a 90 second dance, then it should be clear to all parties involved that Cedric's time has come and gone. Let him enroll in the Debbie Allen Dance Academy for young . . . men. (Which was one of the best moments of the entire show -- can Debbie Allen go for two whole hours without using the words "black" or "of color"?)
• It's interesting, is it not, that Jesús (ok, I finally added the accent) outkrumped Sara?
• I have finally come around on Mary Murphy. I love how she whips out the ballroom expertise in between bouts of screaming. I mean, "Kameron, you were a little tight in the right shoulder"? "Tango is danced down into the floor"? She's really upped her game this season.
• Things I Don't Get, Part I: Lauren. I think she comes across as amateurish and juvenile every time she dances, and it doesn't help when she opens her mouth. I can't think of a single girl left on the show who isn't more deserving than Lauren of continuing in this competition.
• Things I Don't Get, Part II: The rumba. It's always been one of my least favorite dances on Dancing with the Stars, and I thought I'd enjoy it more on SYTYCD. But no. I do love little John Leguizamo guy, though -- although I think Dominic's getting a little overpraised compared to, say, Hok, who's equally untrained and equally (if not more) talented.
• Things I Don't Get, Part III: Dan Karaty's routine for Anya and Danny. Did anyone else find it underwhelming? I was surprised by all the adulation.
• Things I Don't Get, Part IV: Why is Nick Lazzarini nowhere in the opening credits?