Thursday, March 6, 2008

THE WHITNEY SANDWICH: Hey, look, bullet points:
  • Right out of the box, three AI rules broken: No Whitney; No Freddie Mercury; the Jennifer Fuentes rule.
  • I think I liked Asia'h Epperson, but I missed a chunk of the song trying to figure out whether that was a jumpsuit made out of a top sewn into ultra-high-waisted satin jeans. Do you know that there is nothing in the world less sexy than ultra-high-waisted jeans? Not even lemon parties. Hey, what's being contracted in the name "Asia'h"?
  • Kady Malloy: hit exactly none of the notes (and it's a good thing she's not long for the show -- one gets the sense that of all the women, she's the one most likely to be a train wreck three weeks after hitting the big time; also, in her interview, I think she was wearing a plastic fez);
  • Spacewoman: "Who's voting for Amanda Overmyer?" Me: "Chain-smoking midwestern biker nurses?" Spacewoman: "All of them, I guess." I hated it. I'm 0 for 3 with Simon so far tonight. Adam is right that she's a cut-rate Dilana, right down to the stiff foot-stomping dance. I didn't like Dilana either.
  • Three Bystanders Critically Injured as Randy Jackson Fires Excitement Gun at Carly Smithson
  • "Faithfully" is not a song that was begging to be slowed down (or half-assedly countrified). Spacewoman: "Wow, her tongue is so red. Did she just have a lollipop?"
  • If you've never heard the "This American Life" story about "Against All Odds," you really must.
  • Really nice understated reinterpretation of "Love is a Battlefield" by Brooke White. Brooke White is the second-sexiest married prude in America -- and Cindy McCain had better watch her back.
  • If one is going to wear a tie to work, cinch it up and button the shirt. Ryan looks like a salaryman at two a.m.
  • And we finish with another Whitney, nicely done.
The good: Syesha, Brooke
The good enough: Asia'h, Kristy Lee, Carly, Ramiele
In danger of another embarassing moment tomorrow night: Kady
Please put me out of my misery: Over My Er.

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