Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A POX ON BOTH THEIR CORPORATE-TITLED ARENAS: It is difficult for a Philadelphia sports fan to locate a proper rooting interest, or conversely a who-should-I-boo-louder-interest in these NBA Finals. Cal Tech physicist (and 76ers fan) Sean Carroll argues for supporting Boston (hat tip: Phil), placing much weight on the Garnett/Bryant comparison, and I must respectfully, forcefully disagree.

I hate the Boston Celtics more than I hate any other team in professional sports. It's hard-wired and visceral for me. That uniform evokes so much bitterness in me ... I can't even explain it. That smug, physically ugly team from the 1980s made me puke. Hell, I can find nicer things to say about the Dallas Cowboys and New York Mets than I can about any Celtic. You will sooner see me hail Michael Strahan in retirement or praise John Schuerholz's assembly of the Braves than see me say anything nice about Kevin McHale. Indeed, I only wish Dr. J had kicked Bird's ass sooner.

Now, look, Kobe Bryant's a punk (to say the least**), but between Phil Jackson's squad and the green-and-white and their necrophiliac fans who got Kevin Garnett for a bag of magic beans and a set of jumper cables, this one's easy: Go Lakers. Go coach who makes his players read books. Go Derek Fisher. Build off tonight's fourth quarter to stomp them three straight at home, and crush them back in Massachusetts the way the 76ers did in March. Because as much as I despite Showtime, I can't imagine rooting for the alternative.

** Without getting into a lengthy review of the facts as we now know them -- which is to say that we'll never know for sure what happened in Vail -- the allegations now evoke the same reaction in me as did the Duke lacrosse scandal, which is to say that even on the most minimal, favorable rendering of the facts, I'm still appalled. At a bare minimum, a married Kobe Bryant, alone in a room with a hotel staffer he had never met before, proceeded to engage in various sexual activities with her without (by his admission) adequately gauging her consent. But I'm trying to confine this analysis to basketball court-related sins, and not all-court-related sins.

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