Wednesday, February 4, 2009

I WAS IN HEELS SINCE FIVE IN THE MORNING AND THEN I WAS UP 'TIL THREE AND THEN I HAVE SCOLIOSIS AND I WAS SITTING ON THE FLOOR AND MY BACK WAS HURTING AND I WAS SO TIRED: So, God, I have a question for you, after you finish helping us with our harmonies, inadequately enabling us to remember our lyrics, and divinely permitting the sound guy to hold the boom above our heads.

God, I'm not sure I understand the point of AI's Group Night. I mean, there's obviously no competitive group-singing aspect of the show, so what is it? Is it to give Your people a chance to show how they triumph over the adversity of having 18 hours to arrange and perform a song with others? Is it so You can assess their star quality among others who may or may not possess star quality themselves? Is it for no other reason than to give Your people at home some drama to keep them on board throughout the interminable early weeks of pre-dialing for dollars American Idol? Why, God, why?

No real surprises here. We watched crying and bitching in equal quantities, we lost a few early standouts, and we proved once again that prior a capella experience and a talent for vocal orchestration are good resume items when it comes to surviving Hollywood week. I can't imagine what kind of pressing scheduling concern kept Fox from bumping this episode up to an hour and a half. But an extra half hour would have helped -- this episode felt like a lot of singing got shoved by the wayside so as to include every last teardrop full of drama. (And oh my, there was some drama. Crazy Puerto Rico girl, I'm looking at you.)

Oh, and thank you, God, for a smidgeon of righteous justice. The payoff on this one was pretty good. But I guess You knew that when You gave her the big starring edit in her audition. You're very prescient that way. Anyway, thanks.

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