Wednesday, January 6, 2010

I JUST WANT TO SCREAM "HELLO": So first came the nervousness Tuesday night on account of the raging fire at the apartment building next door to my father's, and relief that both he and his building were safe and secure. But a local tv station's coverage of the event poses a difficult question -- does my 78-year-old dad really qualify as "elderly"?. What, friends, is the dividing line between "old" and "elderly" -- is it a number, or does it relate to capacities? Because on either metric, I didn't think the term fit him yet.

19 comments:

  1. If it is a number, I would say that 78 qualifies.  I would draw that line at 70 or at most 75. 

    This reminds me of my horror a couple of years back upon hearing John Hodgman referred to as "middle-aged."  He was, like me, 35 at the time.  Really?!

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  2. Also, glad your father's ok (of course).

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  3. KCosmo9:01 AM

    My mother likes to say that the age that represents the dividing line between "not-old" and "old" creeps ever higher the older you get.  I'm guessing that the reporter who decided that your dad was elderly was on the decidedly younger side.

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  4. To me, though, "elderly" means "can't really live indepedently" -- doesn't drive (or doesn't drive at night), needs assistance with certain life tasks, etc.  Or someone who's at least early-to-mid-80s in age.  And that doesn't fit my dad.

    [Also, the reason his suitcase was packed?  My dad has a room provided to him at the Borgata two nights a week, midweek, pretty much every week, as a recognition for his enthusiasm and commitment towards the game of craps.  Not high stakes, but consistent over time.]

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  5. As Adam's said--"Elderly" is somewhat of a state of mind descriptor as much or more than a mere age (though "elderly" isn't necesarily a perjoritive--it also contains a positive connotation of wisdom).  It's possible for someone to be "elderly" in their 60s and to not be "elderly" in their 70s.  Generally, though, my dividing line would probably be around 75.  And the fact that Adam's dad has received recognition "<span>for his enthusiasm and commitment towards the game of craps" is simply awesome.
    </span>

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  6. Carrie10:16 AM

    Thank goodness he's OK. And I would say elderly is anything over the Biblical threescore and ten.

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  7. I think being "an elder" is a good thing, but I do see "elderly" as something of a slight pejorative.

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  8. Wow, glad your father is OK, Adam. 

    I think the cut off for elderly vs. old is somewhere in the early to mid-80s. Depending of course on the person's overall physical and mental health. My grandma is 92 - definitely elderly although her health didn't really start failing her until about 18 months ago. But I've thought of her as elderly as opposed to just old for probably a good 10 years. 

    Th topic of aging family members freaks me out a bit, as my parents who are now in their mid-60s are suddenly seeming "older" although not "old" just yet. 

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  9. Meghan10:26 AM

    Glad your dad's pkay, Adam.

    I would probably put the dividing line at 75 but expect that will change as my very spry, active, mentally acute, 73-year-old father nears the dividing line.

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  10. calliekl10:31 AM

    Also glad to hear your dad is ok.

    I don't think there is a clear line between "old" and "elderly", if you take into account the health implications associated with the term "elderly". For example, at 94 my Grammy still lives in an apartment, on her own, where she cooks for herself, takes full care of herself, and generally only needs assistance with driving (moreso because she's shrunk to about 4'8" or 4'9" and doesn't feel comfortable in a big car). On the other side, I know plenty of people who would probably be seen as "elderly" who are decades younger than she is.

    Isn't part of the problem how you see yourself? If your parent is "elderly", then what does that make you?

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  11. LDP in Cincinnati11:04 AM

    My father is 83, but he wasn't elderly, at least in my mind, until about 10 months ago when, suddenly, his health started to decline.  Now he's thin, frail and elderly, for sure.

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  12. The Pathetic Earthling11:29 AM

    Can he still yell at the damned kids to get off his lawn?  If so, he's old.  If not, he's elderly.

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  13. spacewoman1:05 PM

    They wouldn't have called him elderly but for the fact that he was talking about his medication.  "Guy headed to casino leaves medication behind" is not as newsworthy as "Elderly guy is deprived of medication!"  Glad he's ok and hope he wins big.

    Funny you should ask this--I was just on cnn.com before I came here, and there was a picture of some "senior" complaining about AARP, and all I could think was, that guy looks like he's our parents' age; that's not "senior!"  But then my mom is 59 and acts pretty damned elderly, so I guess elderliness can strike at any age over 50.

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  14. Just tell me when I have to stop dating 20-something year olds.

    Elderly is defined as "rather old."  Hmmmmm.

    I am definitely having a hard time seeing my parents age and relatives die (at an older age).  It's just the life process but it's not supposed to happen to my parents.

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  15. J. Bowman2:37 PM

    It's half your age plus seven, right? So you officially have to leave the twenty-somethings alone when you turn 46.
    (when I started dating the w, she was, almost to the day, half my age plus seven.)

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  16. I'd never call my 68-year-old mother "elderly," but she sure does enjoy that AARP discount!!

    Adam, your definition of elderly is interesting.  I've never had any kind of pejorative association with the term "elderly," but I guess others do.

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  17. Isn't old "your age plus 10 years"? Using that has a guide and seeing that the median age for Americans is 36, then old is 46. Life expectancy for an American male is 75. If you get past that, elderly sounds fair.

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  18. cagey6:24 PM

    I always think of "elderly and "feeble" as synonomous with each other.  And as such, I don't even consider my 91 great-uncle to be elderly!  Not as long as he continues to bowl, attend Tina Turner concerts and the myriad of other activities he has going on. The dude is BUSY. 

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  19. I think Justice Blackmun defined it as 83, the age at which he could no longer see staying on the Court forever.

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