Thursday, August 19, 2010

MY LEFT FOOT: Of all the misguided trends in athletic wear -- the butt-floss unitard; the spider-web designs on ski-racing suits; the weird advertising fetish of bicycle-clothing designers; the wearing of skin-tight UnderArmour by anybody who is not built like an NFL wide receiver -- the most disturbing certainly must be the advent and burgeoning popularity of the shoes with separated toes.

Most of us use our feet for little more than walking and running. We do not tend to use them for things like sign language, penmanship, or ship-in-bottle modelry. I cannot fathom the need for separate toe compartments on a shoe, and whatever that need might be, it does not outweigh the sheer disgustingness of these foot-gloves. I may lose my lunch the first time I see someone wear these things into a public restroom.

44 comments:

  1. They are supposed to be great for running, but I don't understand it.  Wearing socks with the toes separated drives me bonkers -- I can't imagine wearing those shoes.

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  2. heathalouise11:18 AM

    I once saw a guy on the subway wearing those repulsive shoe-gloves, and there was a hole in one of them. I may have actually gagged it was so repulsive.

    Apparently Thomas Jane is a fan of Vibrams.

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  3. They're popular with people doing POSE, or "barefoot," running. The belief, and there seems to be some science to back it up, is the modern running shoe is very damaging to the body by promoting a heel-first strike. The barefoot style emphasizes more of a ball/midfoot strike. I know a batch of people who swear by these ugly shoes, though any thin, flat-soled shoe will do -- Chuck Taylors are popular, as are indoor soccer shoes.

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  4. D'Arcy11:35 AM

    I taught a kid who was a fantastic distance runner, and he refused to wear anything besides these (he may have had some ASD going on). He qualified for divisionals, and then wasn't permitted to run because he didn't have proper running shoes. 

    I love toe socks, but can't imagine wearing these. Can't see the purpose either - like Isaac said, why do I need my toes to be independent of each other?

    I also don't get the shoes that have two separate toe compartments and look like a camel's foot.

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  5. Heather K11:35 AM

    A friend was recommended them by her chiropractor. 

    But seriously, if they are for barefoot running just use them then, not so much just walking out and about.

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  6. D'Arcy11:39 AM

    Just tried to find a picture of the shoes that I was talking about. I couldn't, but do a Google image search for weird shoes. Wow.

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  7. The Pathetic Earthling11:47 AM

    These don't bother me at all and, actually, I've contemplated buying a pair for light hiking purposes.  Sneakers are terrible for the crumbled sandstone and eucalyptus-littered trails of the Oakland/Berkeley Hills and I don't always want to wear my boots on a shorter hike.

    But speaking of athletic fashion, can someone explain this to me: I see weekend warrior/bicyclists (often in their 30s-40s) often wearing matching team uniforms and I'm not sure I understand that there are organized bicycle races meriting matching uniforms.  I'm setting aside things like the Cal Berkeley cycling team (the biggest asshole road hogs in the universe) but trying to understand if these guys pretend to be on a racing team or actually have races.  The sponsorships, such as they are, are often a bank or an insurance company or what.  Are these just company-sponsored hobbyists, or an ongoing racing concern.

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  8. Joseph J. Finn11:54 AM

    Maybe they just really like to wear tabi socks, the Japanese ones made for wearing with split toe shoes like sandals.

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  9. I have a friend who got them for rock climbing and parkour.  They're a little weird, but he loves them.

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  10. Heather K12:00 PM

    Now that you say that I remember my brother bought a pair for light hiking in Arizona and LOVED them.  LOVED them.

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  11. Natalie12:06 PM

    I have a friend that just purchased a pair yesterday and wore them over to my house last night. They are hilarious, he looks like an animated frog. However, he does a fair amount of hiking and thinks they are particualrly great for going through rivers. Also, he typically wears flip flops and they do a real number on your feet/alignment and, according to him, they are a much better option. They are very breathable and apparently feel like nothing.

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  12. They're cycling clubs and yes, the clubs do have sponsors.  You can join a local cycling club and be sponsored by the local coffee place.  It doesn't mean you're competing, it just means that they're supporting your club. 

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  13. I"ve only tried them on and I think they're awesome.  May get a pair.  I don't think they're attractive but they are comfortable and much better for your feet.

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  14. I can't even wear flip-flops becaue I don't like the feeling of things between my toes. Would go nuts wearing these.

    However, I'd like to see a market spring up for toe rings you can wear OVER the toes on your five-toed shoes.

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  15. Amy, that's brilliant!  Get on it.  I'm sure some of the fancier lawyers on here (who have knowledge of something other than criminal law) can set you up on a business plan and incorporate you.

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  16. isaac_spaceman1:41 PM

    You know, I hadn't really thought about this, but now that I read the comments, the fact that you cannot wear socks with them only makes them more disgusting.  If you need them to hike or rock climb or wade through rivers, fine.  You don't need them to walk in the city, and if you've been suckered by the junk science of the barefoot-running cultists, hold out for a similarly built model that doesn't unnecessarily separate the toes into five blackened thumbs. 

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  17. Genevieve2:06 PM

    I'd think a Keen water shoe would fit the bill - breathable, supportive for hiking, waterproof and quick-drying for going through rivers, toes covered by a hard front to save them from bumps, and a million times better aligned than flip-flops.
    I should have a pair of these arriving today.

    http://www.shoebuy.com/keen-newport-h2/256104/630214

    http://www.shoebuy.com/keen-newport-h2/256109/545793

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  18. christy in nyc2:07 PM

    I just don't understand how a single design can fit so many different people's toes. I may have a weird point of view on this because my toes have a particularly unusual layout and would NEVER be able to fit into a pair of these shoes. But I feel like I've observed quite a bit of diversity among people's toes in terms of their relative size, how far apart they are from one another, etc., that would make it very hard to create a separate-toes shoe that would fit all that many people.

    It makes my toes feel weird just thinking about it.

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  19. Genevieve2:09 PM

    They'll be the new jibbitz.

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  20. spacewoman2:22 PM

    This is so weird.  I started out totally agreeing with isaac, but the more I read the comments, even by people who find them disgusting, the more I'm oddly intrigued and kind of want to try them.  Maybe not out on a date with my husband, though.

    There is a guy who runs barefoot past my bootcamp in the mornings.  We kind of snicker at him. 

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  21. bill.2:25 PM

    Vibram does make a more off-road model. INOV-8 makes normal looking shoes that are also POSE recommended.

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  22. bill.2:26 PM

    Vibram socks. Don't know anyone who wears them. They just throw the vibrams in the wash.

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  23. bill.2:38 PM

    They're too weird for me. But everyone I know who runs in them loves them.

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  24. Jenn.3:07 PM

    I thought this was a joke.  They're real?  Huh.

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  25. Marsha3:17 PM

    I don't think I have ever seen the phrase "<span>my toes have a particularly unusual layout" before.
    </span>

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  26. The Other Kate3:26 PM

    A last year's Baltimore Marathon, my hardcore prescription orthotics and I were in a starting corral next to a barefoot dude. That's right: He was going to run barefoot, for hours, through the streets of Baltimore, and he didn't so much as crack a smile when I asked him if he'd had his shots. Maybe he was putting himself in a trancy spiritual place, like a firewalker, but I suspect barefoot runners take themselves Very Seriously. Like there might be significant overlap between barefoot runners and people whose Facebook posts feature lots of video of their CrossFit whatsits and details of their paleo diets.

    By contrast, I don't see how anybody who wears 5-toed foot shoes that make them look like Captain Caveman could not have a sense of humor.

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  27. D'Arcy4:16 PM

    I have a pair of those, and LOVE them! I used to wear Crocs for diving, camping, cottaging, etc, but now I wear my Keens. Bonus to that is I can actually wear them in public, not just at the dive site/cottage/whatever. 

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  28. Maggie4:42 PM

    You don't understand how much these skeeve me out.  A co-worker just bought a pair and I could not look at them without getting nauseated.   I think they look like a severed foot.

    There is a dude I pass a few times a week on my way to work who wears them with a full suit, but with his pants rolled up.  I crack up every time I see him - it's like something from a ridiculous Almond Joy commercial ("some times you feel like a nut.")

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  29. Watts5:30 PM

    I know exactly what you mean, though - My big toe and pinky toe look like they come from my dad (short and stubby). The three in the middle are long and elegant.

    I'm a short woman, so I'm used to hemming everything, but I refuse to buy shoes that require hemming in the TOES.

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  30. This blog really does have its finger on the pulse of America.  I had never seen nor heard of these shoes until about 3 hours ago, when I saw a friend of my wife's wearing them and wondered what they were.  Crazy timing.

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  31. isaac_spaceman6:59 PM

    You know what?  These shoes may be a wedge for the reintroduction of the codpiece into modern fashion.  Or maybe not codpiece -- fitted penis sleeve. 

    Just because you can doesn't mean you should.

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  32. Charles Carmicheal8:27 PM

    Coming Soon: The Codpiece Wars

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  33. christy in nyc8:39 PM

    Ha! Well, I was trying to think of a way to say it that wouldn't be gross-sounding, as it's not gross-looking. It's just that they would NOT fit into those shoes.

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  34. christy in nyc9:34 PM

    Seriously, it kind of took me a while to think up that phrase.

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  35. D'Arcy10:47 PM

    Found them!

    http://thefunhousejennifer.blogspot.com/2009/03/my-weird-shoes.html

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  36. Loyal Reader2:08 PM

    I actually have a pair of these and LOVE them.   I have something wrong with my feet - I keep being told it's plantar fascitis but none of the treatments that would be typical for PF are working.  So I bought a pair of vibrams thinking maybe it would help since barefoot was when my feet felt the best.

    Last week we went on vacation to DC and the first 3 days I wore tennis shoes.  My feet were hurting so bad by the afternoon that I was almost in tears and just wanted to sit in my hotel room.  After that I put my pride of looking ridiculous aside and wore my vibrams.  I was able to make it to the end of the day without feeling like I needed to curl up in a ball and cry from the pain in my feet.

    Also, I thought my toes wouldn't fit in them either - I've got "crooked" toes but some how they still work with my feet. 

    I will be a dissenter amongst opinions here and say "try them!"  :-)

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  37. Anonymous2:18 PM

    I guess I am Vibram impaired. I have a couple of toes stuck together, which wouldn't let me wear these shoes. This also leads me to ask, "What if your toes are not the correct size?" I mean some people's second toe might be taller than their big toe. Do they have different sizes for toes?

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  38. I also have a pair, which I got when 8 months pregnant.  My feet were hurting massively with the weight, and these shoes allowed me to get through a day without pain.  I also had fun telling people that I just liked taking the "barefoot and pregnant" thing seriously.  They literally feel like you aren't wearing a shoe at all, and I'm amazed that both my overpronation and fallen arches have been alleviated since wearing the shoes.  I also like how I can just throw them in the washer when they get icky, as opposed to normal shoes.

    Now I bought two other versions -- one for road running and one for trail running.  The road running ones I bought are a super shade of pink, but I am a "go big or go home" type.  The other ones are in a black neutral, and pretty unobtrusive.  I wouldn't wear them with a cocktail dress, but I feel comfortable going around town in them.

    So, what I would say, is try 'em before you get too skeeved out by 'em.  

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  39. Meghan8:46 PM

    I'm sorely tempted to get a pair as I have some plantar fasciitis issues.  Also, back when I was into distance running, the second toe on my right foot always rubbed wrong, despite wearing shoes a full size bigger than my normal shoes.  TI could see that these would allow the toes to move independently and not rub simply because 4 of the 5 toes are working together and one is doing its own thing.

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  40. girard316:42 PM

    I will give all of those who support the wearing of these the benefit of a doubt. I will only add that many people who I have seen wearing them have gone out of their way to make sure others saw they were wearing them, and wanted badly for said people to ask them about them. In other words -- they were being worn by hipster poseurs.

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  44. Dirox3:51 AM

    You're opinion. You get sick? I like them.

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