Monday, November 29, 2010

ALOTT5MA RECIPE DEPARTMENT: To make one Hallmark Hall of Fame film, mix the following:
  • Adorably precocious child, ideally suffering from serious, yet vague, malady.
  • Cantankerous older man played by beloved character actor who is taught that he can love again in part through the activities of adorably precocious child.
  • Parent who wants to care for child in unorthodox way, played by recognizable, yet not particularly famous/costly, actor.
  • Other parent, who at first disagrees with first patent's unorthodox plans, also played by recognizable, yet not particularly famous/costly, actor.
  • (Optional) Add additional adorable/precocious children to taste.
  • Framing device to reassure viewers all works out on the end.
  • Self-evident Canadian filming locations.
  • Cloying commercials about greeting cards.

23 comments:

  1. Joseph J. Finn5:02 PM

    Which brings me to my favorite Tweet of the weekend, from Jewel Staite of Firefly (I'm paraphrasing, as I don't have Twitter access at work): "Folks, want to see me in some Christmas ham?  Watch Paging Mrs. Miracle on Hallmark tonight!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. StvMg5:09 PM

    Hallmark Hall of Fame movies might be a little syrupy, but they're extremely  high art compared to Hallmark CHANNEL movies. I often put new Hallmark Channel movies in my DVR because I'm generally a sucker for all romcoms, but these are generally painful viewing. Back when ABC Family put out original romcoms, they were generally cheesy fun that often featured appealing actors from long-running TV shows (Scott Wolf, Charisma Carpenter, Jason Priestley, Emma Caulfield, etc.). The Hallmark Channel movies aren't nearly as entertaining.

    ReplyDelete
  3. And this, my friends, is how muscle memory works (for an IP lawyer, anyway).  "Other parent, who at first disagrees with first patent's unorthodox plans, also played by recognizable, yet not particularly famous/costly, actor."

    ReplyDelete
  4. I am a sucker for Hallmark commericals. I love the one where the old professor is packing up his office and the former student stops by to give him a thank you card. Sniff.

    But yeah, the movies are pretty darn predictable. (That's not to say I don't occasionally tune in when CBS airs a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie.)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Matt (mobile)6:17 PM

    Yes, that joke reads like an ill-drafted patent claim, and I don't even do that sort of work.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Maggie7:00 PM

    I love those ABC Family movies... I just re-recorded "Lucky Seven" (Patrick Dempsey/Kimberly Williams) last week and one of the greatest annoyances of my recent move was losing "See Jane Date" (Charisma Carpenter) on my DVR.  If I only I could find "I Want to Marry Ryan Banks" or the one with Carly Pope, Sarah Rue and Brian Austen Green...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Meghan7:12 PM

    I'm astounded that this many people actually watch Hallmark Hall of Fame movies.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Maret7:26 PM

    I'm with the fans of the ABC Family romcoms. I want more of them. I am also still a fan of the Lifetime movie, although it's been a while since I watched one. They did a Pregnancy Pact movie maybe a year ago that was excellent in its abundance of cheesieness.

    ReplyDelete
  9. J. Bowman7:27 PM

    I assumed they were having Christmas in November because the child would be dead by the real Christmas. Don't tell me she lived. I just can't hear it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. calliekl8:33 PM

    I loved HHoF movies when I was growing up! To this day, I maintain that their "Secret Garden" was way better than the one that came out in theaters a few years ago- one major factor is definitely a young Colin Firth playing the grown up Colin Craven. In this version, Colin and Mary aren't cousins, his father was a friend of her family, and they end up together in the end (right after WWI). God I loved that movie.

    Also good? "Little Match Girl" with Keshia Knight Pulliam, Rue McClanahan, and William Daniels (Mr. Feeny!). Fabulous Christmas movie.

    I still remember the Hallmark commercial that ran during that time, where a family is gathered for the holiday, and a little kid is waiting for his older brother to come home so they can sing "O Holy Night" for the fam, but it's a blizzard, so they don't think he's going to make it. So the kid starts singing, and in the middle of the song his brother walks in and starts singing with him, and everyone starts crying and now so am I. I am probably the only person who remembers this commercial.

    ReplyDelete
  11. This one?  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=37-r7Jtru8E&feature=related

    And yes, I teared up watching it. 

    I remember that Secret Garden!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have "Lucky Seven" on my DVR right now. I dig that movie. It always amuses me that the second-rate Brad Pitt looking guy thinks he's going to beat out Patrick Dempsey. As if!

    ReplyDelete
  13. calliekl10:50 PM

    That is the very one. I forgot to mention the intense turtleneck sweater!

    ReplyDelete
  14. kenedy jane10:59 PM

    Love the cheesy holiday commercials.  I just cry and cry.  Especially soldiers coming home.  And although I am not a fan of coffee itself, somehow those coffee commercials always seem to get me...

    Apologies for a quick threadjack but I wanted to report that my daughter was released today to return to her college classes after her bout with bacterial meningitis.  After 5 days in the hospital (2 in ICU) and 11 days of recovery, she is at about 75% of her normal self.  We had much to be thankful for last week - it's a holiday commercial in itself.  :-)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Part of the reason for that is that I wrote the post on my iPhone on my grandparents' couch.  (Didn't publish till I was at the airport this afternoon because I wanted to insert the bullet points, and that was where I had WiFi.)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Meghan8:50 AM

    Great news!

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Lucky Seven" is available on DVD. I used to have a videotape with a bunch of the ABC Family movies (incuding "Au Pair" and "Au Pair 2"), but that's been lost. Every now and then I catch "See Jane Date" or "Ryan Banks" on one of the digital cable stations. Man, I love those movies.

    My friends and I now gather to watch some horrible holiday romcoms every December. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Genevieve10:35 AM

    The HHOF movie I remember vividly from my youth is their version of A Tale of Two Cities.  Sadly, does not appear to be on DVD.  Chris Sarandon starred, long before The Princess Bride.  Madame DeFarge was utterly creepy, and we adopted the eerie cry, "To the Bastiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiile!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  19. Genevieve10:35 AM

    Oh, that's wonderful, kenedy jane.  How scary, and how marvelous that she's doing so much better.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Give me a good Lifetime movie instead of Hallmark any day.  Like the one where Shannen Doherty meets Tim Matheson, falls in love, finds out he's a paranoid bastard, gets stalked by him, gets shot by his hired gun, gets paralyzed, takes a fake name, tracks down a doctor with magical treatments for paralyzed people, sort of walks again, walks a marathon, and marries the magical doctor. 

    And of course, "Death of a Cheerleader," where you root for Kelli Martin to kill Tori Spelling.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Marsha11:02 AM

    How could you not tear up watching that? I remember that commercial.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Marsha11:03 AM

    Fantastic news, Kenedy Jane! So glad to hear she's doing better. Much to be thankful for, indeed!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Maggie11:28 AM

    I love the one with Shannon Doherty, who is in a band and has a girl go single white female on her.  And of course the Tori Spelling classic, "Mother May I Sleep With Danger?"

    ReplyDelete