Wednesday, December 15, 2010
YOU THINK YOU CAN CATCH KEYSER SOZE? YOU THINK A GUY LIKE THAT COMES THIS CLOSE TO GETTING CAUGHT, AND STICKS HIS HEAD OUT? Kevin Spacey kinda sorta talks to The Daily Beast about his private life -- to a point. It's quite interesting to see Spacey both tacitly acknowledge the sort of truth one assumes about someone when he brings his mother as his Oscars date, yet pointedly insist on a line between public and private: "I don't live a lie. You have to understand that people who choose not to discuss their personal lives are not living a lie. That is a presumption that people jump to.... I am different than some people would like me to be. I just don't buy into that the personal can be political. I just think that's horseshit. No one's personal life is in the public interest. It's gossip, bottom line. End of story."
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The odd thing is that it's hard to imagine it hurting Spacey's career if he came out of the closet now. He's not really in the running for romantic leading man roles (and even if he were, in the 21st century, it hasn't hurt Jodie Foster or Neal Patrick Harris). May just be a generational thing.
ReplyDeleteWikipedia says he dated Dianne Dreyer from '92 to '00. So maybe he's just private.
It just sort of brings me back to the question we talked about in re: Anderson Cooper, I think. Does someone have to announce their sexuality just because they're in the public eye? If he's comfortable living life as he is, gay, straight, bi, or otherwise, why do we need confirmation? I always assumed he was gay but seeing Ted's wiki info above makes me think maybe he's bi. And, if that's the case, good for him for keeping it private. I can't imagine how hard it would be to get asked constantly if you're gay and have to reply, "Well, sometimes."
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try to write this while staying away from getting political (respecting this blog's policies), but it's really only possible to do that if you beilieve the personal is not political, like Spacey does. I've been out to my family for 20 years now and their views on homosexuality have changed dramatically in that time. I made a concious decision to be casually out at work (when I talk about my personal life, I act like I assume everyone knows and doesn't care) and in my professional life. I've never noticed that I've been treated badly as a result.
ReplyDeleteThe American public has become vastly more comfortable with the idea of lesbians & gays as they realize they know, like, & respect people who are lesbians & gays. Right or wrong, people feel they "know" celebrities. If Spacey is gay or bisexual and refuses to discuss it, what he's saying is that he doesn't want to take that on. I get why, I really do.
Being out in my life is the most political thing I've ever done. I've worked as a poll watcher, I was a student protestor that successfully got our university to divest its holdings in companies that did business in South Africa, I've caucused, voted, and represented Mark Dayton in the recent recount. So I've been political. But there is no comparison.
I would respect him a lot more if he hadn't said that, whether he's straight, bisexual, gay, transgender, a hemaphrodite, a eunuch or an alien.
Ditto what Vanessa said.
ReplyDelete<span>what he's saying is that he doesn't want to take that on</span>
ReplyDeleteOr maybe he means what he says. And maybe as an actor he would like people to focus on the role and not on bullshit inconsequential celebrity news.
And I'm sure that there are soldiers even after the end of DADT who will choose to remain closeted. But "focus on the role" didn't seem to be a problem for Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhall in playing gay cowboys, or Neil Patrick Harris playing Barney Stinson, or Ian McKellen in most of what he does. They're demonstrating that viewers can do perfectly well focusing on the role regardless of the actor's orientation.<span> </span>
ReplyDeleteThinking about this, Kevin Sessums and Vanessa H are probably members of my least favorite type of group*—extroverts**. Spacey is an introvert.
ReplyDeleteExtroverts want everyone else to act like they act. If not, introverts are accused of being moody, antisocial, secretive, and, apparently, deceitful and not worthy of respect. All becasue extroverts are bossy and manipulative and constantly jumping up and down yelling "me me me!!!1!" For the introvert, this is tiring and soul-sucking, because we appreciate that people*** are different and approach situations with differing solutions****.
So when I read this interview and the responses, I don't see this through the prism of sexuality or politics; no, all I see is one guy happy to live his life, happy for you to live yours, and only wishing you would offer him the same respect*****.
*actually, I avoid most groups of any sort
**excepting The Wife, an uberextrovert, but one of the few born with an empathy gene
***excepting soul-sucking automatons
****excepting acting like an exciteable puppy hopping around pissing all over everything
*****or not, whatever
A query: Let's say there is a vocal and often abusive group of extroverts out there trying, as you say, to get "everyone else to act like they act," and the way they act is to deny you the right to act the way you are (which is natural and doesn't hurt anybody). And you and everybody else who is like you in this one way (maybe the way is important and central to who you are; maybe it wouldn't be such a big deal if there weren't this roving band of extroverts acting like this one way were not only any of their fucking business, but also a way that should be punished) wanted to be introverts about it, except that if everybody were an introvert about it, then this giant ball of menacing extroverts would continue to be the dominant group and would continue to do things to your group of introverts ranging from mildly irritating to horrific, I mean, truly horrific.
ReplyDeleteSo at first, everybody wanted to be an introvert, but a few people, at great and sometimes almost unimaginable cost to themselves, became extroverts -- that is, they said something and also asked that other people "act like they act," which is to say, to show by word, deed, or example that the dominant group of often cruel extroverts who denied -- not just wanted to deny, but actually denied -- your group the right to be who you are. And bit by bit, more people, some proudly, some grudgingly, did what this new group of extroverts wanted. Some became extroverts themselves (that is, they asked others "to act like they act"); others didn't. They just acted like themselves and didn't ask anything of others.
And over time, it became possible (which is not to say easy) for people to be introverts about this particular way that we're talking about without living in too much fear (which is not to say no fear) of the original group of extroverts. But the original group of extroverts, they haven't gone away. They have less influence (but not no influence) and they are smaller (but not nonexistent), but they are as adamant as they ever have been that our other group just should not be allowed to exist.
Which leads me to my query: Is it so unreasonable for this new group of extroverts to think that they need to keep being extroverts? They would be in a much worse place today if not for prior extroverts, and they have a reasonable fear that they will be in a much worse place tomorrow if there aren't extroverts to continue to carry the standard, as long as there are extroverts over there on the other side.
Which is my typically long-winded way of saying that it's perfectly okay to me and to you that Spacey wants to keep private. I actually agree with you there -- I don't think he has any obligation, or at least I don't think I have any right to ask anything of him. Where we part company is in criticizing Vanessa H. for being an extrovert and suggesting that there is anything wrong with her asking others "to act the way that she acts." You and I may not have any right to criticize Spacey, but Vanessa H. has more at stake than either of us. If Vanessa H. shares in the benefits conferred by earlier extroverts and believes that she has a concomitant right to be an extrovert at somewhat less cost to herself (hopefully none, but I do not know), then I don't think we have any valid cause to criticize Vanessa H. for asking the same of everybody else who shared in the benefits conferred by those earlier extroverts.
That second paragraph got garbled in the editing, but you get the idea.
ReplyDeleteWhat if--and this is a big what if--Spacey keeps his presumed homosexuality quiet to protect a partner? Do we demand that he come out and answer questions about his sexuality if it's going to turn a spotlight on, say, a member of the military? Someone who isn't out to his family yet? Does Spacey outing himself then out someone else who doesn't want to be outed? What's the larger obligation: to homosexuals as a marginalized group or to a person whom he loves?
ReplyDeleteAgain, hypothetical but his fame brings an element to outing others that a non-famous homosexual doesn't face.
I like your last paragraph very much - your short-winded summary sounds just right.
ReplyDeleteI respect Spacey's right to privacy completely. I do take issue with one thing he said: "No one's private life is in the public interest." He couldn't be more wrong there. When people in positions of authority spend their careers promoting anti-gay policies and then turn out to be gay themselves, that is absolutely the public's business. Ditto for those who rest their reputations on their commitment to "family values," attack political opponents for their moral failings, and then turn out to be adulterers.
ReplyDeleteAs an introvert there are a lot of things that are harder for me to do than they probably are for most extroverts, but I do them anyway because they are the smart or the right thing for me to do. I get the frustration that extroverts by their nature do not always have a natural understanding of how fundamentally different everyday life can be for other people. But smart, curious ones do tend to ask, and get it when explained.
ReplyDeleteOf course it's everyone's own decision whether, how, when to come out. Kevin Spacey may have reasons not to that by definition are none of my business. But even as an introvert, and even as someone who understands that I can never fully know what it's like to be another person, there are some things that are just true or false.
Vanessa H's choice to live out makes the world a better place--that's true. People focusing on Kevin Spacey's acting without knowing his orientation is more important than what he could contribute to the world as an out actor--that's false.
"No one's private life is in the public interest"--in an equal world, it would be true. But in this one, it's false. Being out helps both individual people AND the struggle for equality. If you're not out, you're not out. It's everyone's own decision. A person has the right not to do most things they don't want to do, even if they are in the public interest. But having the right not to do it isn't the same as it not being in the public interest.
I do prefer, however, to express that by celebrating coming out more than getting down on the folks that don't. So, again, Vanessa H: Thanks for being awesome!
But is he in a position of authority? Or are you saying those who are in authority (rather than just the public eye) have an obligation to live openly?
ReplyDeleteI don't think public eye = position of authority. Spacey is perfectly within his rights to keep his private life private. I'm really talking about people who shape public policy -- elected officials, lobbyists, activists, etc. On the whole, they have a right of privacy as well. But when they are guilty of hypocrisy -- engaging in private behavior that is at odds with what they do and say in public -- I think that right of privacy evaporates. By trying to shape policy that affects us all, they've put themselves in the public sphere, and we have a right to know, for example, if a politician who runs on a "family values" platform has a secret family somewhere. (So I'm taking issue with Spacey's blanket statement that the public never has a right to know about someone's private life, and not with Spacey claiming such privacy for himself.)
ReplyDeleteI agree with you completely.
ReplyDelete