Tuesday, March 15, 2011

COUNTRY WEAK: A guest post from commenter Robin:

Having read on ALOTT5MA that Country Strong had a shocking ending, I knew I had to see it as soon as it hit our dollar theater. And even though I enjoyed the movie, unironically (I'm a sucker for melodrama), I did spend a good portion of the movie trying to guess at the surprise waiting for us in the third act.

Potential twist endings I imagined while watching Country Strong that were more shocking than the one it actually delivered:



  • Beau is actually Kelly's estranged biological son she gave birth to before she was famous. Incest!
  • One up: Intentional incest! Kelly knows Beau is her son, and she's seduced him in a twisted attempt to punish herself for and/or heal herself from her traumatic miscarriage.
  • Those vodka bottles were actually filled with Fiji water. The whole alcoholism/rehab thing was a cover-up for an abortion/PR stunt to drum up ticket sales for the comeback tour.
  • One up: Chiles threatens to expose this to protect her own secrets, so Kelly and/or James murders her.
  • Baby Quail Loretta Lynn actually embodies the spirit of Loretta Lynn, and sends Kelly a message from beyond the veil to straighten up and countrily fly right.
  • Kelly pulls a Black Swan after singing "Coming Home" on stage in Dallas.
  • Chiles murders Kelly for stealing "Coming Home."
  • One up: Kelly's apparent suicide was actually a poisoning by Chiles motivated by Kelly's theft of "Coming Home." Beau deduces this because he recognizes Chiles' handwriting flourishes in Kelly's supposed suicide note from when Chiles wrote him additional lyrics for "Give in to Me."
  • The "opportunity in California" Beau tells Chiles about is actually American Idol. This movie was originally scripted as Season 4's answer to From Justin to Kelly.

4 comments:

  1. Joseph J. Finn11:16 PM

    Wait...so Kelly wasn't a middle-aged Russian dwarf hooker?

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  2. No, but Leighton Meester's character is.  (Hey, it's not any less plausible than most of the turns she's had to play on Gossip Girl.)

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  3. Paul Tabachneck1:26 AM

    While I want to praise this post, as my appreciation for Robin knows no bounds, I have not yet read it, because I haven't yet seen Country Strong, and I want to see if we come up with the same answers.  I wonder if any of those endings have to do with Gwyneth Paltrow being a mermaid....

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  4. I haven't seen Country Strong, so I cannot comment on the substance of this, but the best line I ever heard about this movie was uttered by Slate's film critic during its Culture Gabfest:  "So, this is basically the Jeff Bridges 'Crazy Heart' movie, redone as terrible, and with Gwyneth."

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